OLIVER! SCRIPT

Oliver: Please, Sir... can i have some more??
Master: More!? You want, more!?
Oliver: Yes, sir.
Master: Oh alright then, give us your bowl.
Oliver: No, sir! It's not gruel I want!
Master: Oh! I suppose you'd rather something more appetising, eh? You'd rather sausages, or burgers (what-ever they may be.) A raspberry ripple perhaps!?
Oliver: No, sir.
Master: Then what do you want boy!?
Oliver: An Excile long sleeved polo, sir.
Master: What!?
Oliver: (Meakly) In deep purple, sir.
Master: And where do you suppose I might get one?
Oliver: Ted Baker, sir.
Master: Do you mean, Ted Baker, my Uncle? Sir Ted of Bakerton?
Oliver: (Pause) No .
Master: Then who do you mean, boy?
Oliver: Ted Baker. One of the fastest-growing leading lifestyle brands in the UK, Sir. Ted Baker offers a wide range of collections... I'm sure there'd even be something for you, sir.
Master: A sporty little red number you mean?
Oliver: (Giving up) Why not?
Master: Yes, I can see it now... a hogarth endurance stripe detailed shirt, Oojah Micro Weave trousers, a Glimer cracked leather clutch bag.
Oliver: Clutch bag, sir?
Master: (Recovering) a-hem, what i meant to say of course was a Mans Yaxley leather document bag – because I'm a man. Yes – that's it. A man. Just look at me sloshing this gruel about. Very manly, yes.
Oliver: Well done.
Master: Thank you. Well, I'll leave you to it then.
Oliver: Where are you going, sir?
Master: Shopping. Shopping for mens things! Yes - cause we've clearly established that I'm a man, haven't we?
Oliver: Yes, sir. Yes, we have.
Master: Well, enjoy your gruel. Watch the rabble for me, will you?
Oliver: Yes, Sir.
Master: Oh i tell you, I'm so excited. Never before has a boy wanted more! (off he skips).